College Relations

October 4, 2004

I am a firm believer in the idea that everything happens for a reason, though I'll admit that quite often it can be difficult to see the good in a situation. The death of a loved one, the loss of a job, and even a poor test grade are all situations that make us wonder, 'how could this possibly be a good thing?' But with time and understanding, these painful experiences can become not only positive, but life lessons we can grow from. The realization that the loved one is in a better place, a new and rewarding job, and the cute guy you meet in your new study group (or mastering the material, if you want to be studious about it) help us to move on and make the best of our negative experiences.

With that in mind, I believe that there is a reason why I'm standing here today with the honor of addressing all of you. This very special day for me, as well as for my family has come after a long road of high peaks and very low valleys. I wouldn't be here today without them, as they have been through a LOT on my behalf, and I'd like to thank each and every one of you, because everything I am today began with help and support from you. I would like to share my story now, in hopes that it might empower or inspire someone who may find themselves in a situation like mine, and to help others understand and accept the people in their lives who have not chosen the beaten path.

All my life, I have loved to learn. When I was pre-school aged and my grandmother was watching me, we spent our days doing more reading, writing, and math than playing games. Before I entered kindergarten, I had the ability to add, subtract, multiply, and divide, so I guess it's no surprise that I ended up a math major. When I entered school at Horace Mann Elementary, I loved every day, and learned everything that I could. This pattern continued until I reached seventh grade. Now living in Marblehead, my mom recalls one fateful day as she and I pulled up to the middle school, and I refused to get out of the car. The teacher's pet didn't want to go to school; in fact she couldn't go to school.

Both my family and Marblehead's school system rallied behind me. While doctors diagnosed me with every kind of depression and anxiety in the books, and gave me medication after medication that I believe only made me worse, the school sent me a private tutor and supported me as I more or less went through seventh grade alone. I can't remember much of that year, due to the medication, and I can't explain why this happened to me, but I don't believe that anything was ever really wrong with me. I believe now that I was only experiencing the beginning of the storm that was to come.

After seventh grade ended, and I had passed all of my subjects, the obvious question came up: was I going to go back to school, and how was I going to do it? As soon as the school year ended, I refused to take medication any longer and had a wonderful summer. At a big meeting the week before school started, I got to meet my eighth grade teachers, and we formulated a story about an illness I had suffered, so that I wouldn't be alienated by my peers. Again, everybody involved supported me and helped me as I had two wonderful years in school. Then tenth grade rolled around and it started again.

I began to dread going to school. I had friends, I did well in my classes, but I just wasn't happy. By the end of tenth grade, I had dropped several classes, had three or four study halls, and the highlight of my day was going to chorus. I finished the year, on the honor roll, but when September of Junior year came around, I think we all knew that something was about to happen. I was miserable, missing many days of school, and taking myself out of the honors weighted and advanced placement classes I was enrolled in. I remember one day my principal called me to her office and gave me some literature about GED's and community college. She told me that some people just aren't meant to do the same thing as everyone else, and maybe this would be better for me. My family and I decided that we would try it, and within a week, had signed me out of high school.

I began working full time right away, registered to take the GED, and prepared to attend North Shore Community College the next fall. I never intended on not going to college, and my family would never have allowed me not to. However, there were many people who did not support me. I lost several friends and felt the disapproval of many adults, including some at my old high school. Being someone who loved to learn so much, carrying the stigma of being a "drop-out" was at times too much to bear. There were many dark days for me before I passed the GED, which I did a few months later, with flying colors. There were some things I wish I hadn't missed though; having my diploma mailed to me was by no means a graduation ceremony to remember.

My two years at North Shore were great. Sure, like many students here, I had to live at home and work to pay my school bills. But I worked hard, having lots of fun all the while, and graduated after two years with high honors, a member of the school's honor's program, and an Associate's degree in Liberal Arts. Plus, I finally got my graduation ceremony, and I was so happy to wear my cap and gown. Now the question was what next? And where? I had decided that I wanted to share my love of math with others, and I still feel that I have a natural gift for teaching. Ironic to some, I had my heart set on teaching high school. I applied to and was accepted to several outstanding colleges, but I couldn't afford them. Luckily for me, I had Salem State. Growing up literally across the street, there was a part of me that felt it wouldn't be special here. I couldn't have been more wrong!

My time here has been wonderful. Every class has been informative, every professor knowledgeable and accessible. The staff here has been great as well - every question I've had was answered, every problem I've had was resolved, and every empty stomach filled. I have always felt like I mattered here - that I wasn't just some anonymous student. On any given day as I walk around campus, I run into the greatest people. There's always someone to say hi to, someone who will smile back at me. We have such a great diversity of students and staff here that has allowed me to learn more about the world, different ways of life, and about myself as well. And the chocolate-chip muffins, need I say any more? I would say that going to school here at Salem State is very nearly perfect…well, if it wasn't for the parking! Most of all however, I would like to acknowledge the math department. I could never hope for a more intelligent and caring group of people to learn from. Except for the days when I'm being tested, I feel more like a colleague and a friend to them than a student. I know that I can go see any professor at any time for help, and I'll get a kind ear and honest advice. Perhaps most importantly, as I near graduation, I know that I am especially prepared to be a great teacher. I feel that due to my unique history, and the education I've received here, I'll be able to help others as many people have helped me.

Whenever I look back at where I've come from, I reinforce my theory that everything happens for a reason. For me, I had to walk through the dark to see the light. I can't imagine being more successful or accepted anywhere else but here. All of the days and nights that I cried and screamed, and all the battles that my supporters have fought alongside me have culminated in this moment. For the first time, I finally feel like I made the right decisions, and that no matter what anyone has said about me, I've made it. I am finally where I want to be.

Finally, I pose this question: Here today, I hope that most of you respect my accomplishments, and I'd like to think that those of you who know me personally are even proud of me. But would you look at me the same way as a thirteen year old refusing to go to school? What about when I was a seventeen year old drop out? Had you known me then, you may have looked down on me, perhaps rejected me, though I'm sure many of you would have tried to help me. But I certainly would have been labeled different. The fact is, I am all three of those people, and I always will be, and I think that's just fine. I like who I am, and my experiences have made me the person I am today. In this often-prejudiced society that we live in, I ask you all to heed the old moral: please don't judge a book by its cover. Thank you.